Sirius Thoughts
by Lovely Little Lina
Summary: A litle oneshot of Sirius' thoughts and memories in Azkaban. He had to think about something in there. SB/OC I gave him love as well.


Silence. That was all there was. And rattling breath all around. The great and infamous Sirius Black was in the corner of his Azkaban cell. He had not permitted himself to cry yet. And wasn't about to. He had heard multiple conversations shouted from Death Eater to Death Eater and only one thought occupied his mind, I shouldn't be here. This was wrong. How could anyone in their right mind think he would do such a thing? That was just it, no one was in their right mind. Everyone was completely insane and he was being called a mass murderer? Has the world gone mad?

He really didn't care at all what the world thought, as long as he knew he wasn't a murderer...or trader. Then it hit him, just like the bludger on the first day of flying lessons and the multiple hands of girls across his face. Peter. He had known of course that it was him, but when he had disappeared he had thought for mere seconds he was insane. Then the Ministry had showed up and as usual had jumped to the wrong conclusion. He had found their stupidity funny. Really the American government could have done better than that. And that was saying something. So to replace crying he had laughed, probably insanely, but it was better than crying. Still no tears came. They seemed now permanently gone from his body. The dementors moved forward bringing in a group of people past him into high security. His gray eyes widened as he watched his cousin cackling madly as she was led past him. Unfortunately she did catch sight of him and her laughter and cackling stopped in shock of him there. As suddenly as she had changed she went right back to laughing and grinning maliciously at him.

Her appearance had not helped at all. Now he was standing in his lonely cell just pacing back and forth. He hadn't even spoken since he had confronted Wormtail, angrily at that. What had possessed him to make him a friend? Where the hell had that come from? He lived up to his name. He was gonna die. If Sirius could do anything about it and he could he was going to die and he had to know this. Remus wouldn't because Remus had thought he was the secret keeper. No. Sirius plopped down on the small cot that was meant to be a bed-like thing for him. Not Remus. His only friend left in the entire world thought him a murderer and trader. Great, things just got better. The dementors were coming back from the high security cell they had just put Bellatrix and her husband and brother in law into. She could still be heard from behind them. He voice filled with mirthless laughter. "I will be praised. I will be put at the Dark Lord's right hand when he frees us. Our loyalty will not be wasted and those who have betrayed him will suffer _dire_ consequences!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and lounged back in his cell. "Crazy bitch." He muttered still hearing her screaming and laughing triumphantly. The dementors passed him for the last time of the night and he moved over to the window as soon as they were gone. The night air was so soothing on his face. The sky was the same, but somehow it looked darker, and unwelcoming. Sort of like his family. His family. Now they must be happy. If his mother was alive she would probably praise him about getting locked up and really he wouldn't have cared. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. His best friend was gone, his only other friend thought him a murderer and his other friend had framed him. Life had gone so wrong this Halloween.

He would remember this night for a long time. It would probably haunt him in his sleep. Sirius rested his head down on his folded arms and stared out at the night sky as he reflected over these past few hours.

The news had reached him too late. And he had known that he was too late even before he mounted his motor bike and took off. He hadn't remembered how long he had been flying for, but he knew it had been in a panic. He had floored it to its highest extent and then went on to fly at his top speed. He was sure he had hit some birds and bugs in his wake, but didn't care. He needed to find James and Lily. He needed to see if they were all right. He needed them to be all right. He couldn't keep his heart rate down as he approached Godric's Hollow. It didn't look the same. The house had an immense hole in the roof and there didn't seem to be any life in there. His breathing sped up and he landed without a care as to who saw him and dismounted quickly. He ran into the house and almost tripped over a body. His eyes went wide as he saw the messy black hair of James Potter, his best friend and his brother really. His hand timidly touched the man's heart and then he leapt over him to get upstairs. It seemed to take him to quick to reach his godchild's room. His hand went to cover his mouth at Lily's body lying in front of the crib. He was turning to leave, not wanting to see the dead child, when a sound caught him. It was some sort of small whimpering like crying? He turned back towards the room and looked curiously at the crib. Was he alive?

Carefully he stepped around Lily and to the crib. Harry, his godchild was still alive, though he now had a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Sirius was smiling. After finding his best friends body he hadn't thought this possible. Yet, here he was smiling as if he was the happiest he had ever been. He picked up the child carefully and held him as Lily had taught his to when he was first born. His green eyes, exactly like his mother's, looked into his gray ones and his soft crying stopped as he moved back and forth. "Hi, remember me? Sirius, your godfather?" Harry seemed to understand this as he smiled and cured up as if he felt safe now. He smiled and grabbed a blanket, which he then wrapped around the baby. Lying him back down he moved back down the stairs to James' body. Gritting his teeth he levitated him up stairs and onto his bed, which was still intact. He then moved Lily's body and laid them next to each other as if they were sleeping. Tears formed in his eyes and he stared at them both. "Thank you both for everything. This will not have been for nothing." He gripped both their hands before draping them over their chests and walking back to Harry in the room.

Picking him up again he went to sit down in the rocking chair in the room, but a sudden noise from outside made him hold him closer. Had he come back? Had he been called away for something and left before he was able to finish off the child. Someone came through the door and had stopped there. "'Ello?" Sirius let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. Harry was now looking towards the door with mild interest. It wasn't Voldemort, in fact he knew who it was.

"Hagrid?" He called stepping out of the room and to the top of the stairs where he could see the half-giant standing in the doorway looking up at him and Harry.

"Sirius? What're you doin' 'ere?" He descended the stairs with the child in his hands and looked up at him.

"Well they were my closest friends. Ad I am Harry's godfather so I was going to take him with me." Hagrid was looking down at him and now looked somewhat sorrowful. His hand went to rub his neck nervously.

"Sirius, Dumbledore has asked me to come here." He nodded knowing Dumbledore must have a reason for it. "To take Harry to his aunt and uncle's house." His face fell and he looked into Hagrid's face with confusion.

"Why? I'm his legal guardian. Hagrid he can't do this. It's not what they wanted." Hagrid was shaking his head now.

"Yeah, but 'e said it's what is needed." Sirius looked down at the baby and walked a little bit past Hagrid. They couldn't do this. He was Harry's legal guardian and in his opinion the best he could have.

"I have to do as James wanted."

"Sirius..." Hagrid began in the tone someone would use to persuade a child. However Sirius would not be swayed that easily.

"No. I'm the best family he could have. His aunt hates us. Lily told me. She thinks our kind is freaks. They won't treat him right. I can-"

"Sirius I know." He sighed and turned away from him slightly. "Dumbledore's orders." Sirius looked once more at the child looking up at him with Lily's eyes. He nodded and handed the child over to the half giant. He cuddled him sweetly in his arms before him. "Sorry mate. If it was up ter me I would let you 'ave him." He nodded weakly and then put on his smile for the man.

"Where are you heading?" He walked past him out of the house and towards his motor bike in the street. Hagrid followed him holding Harry gently.

"Little Winging, Surrey." He replied looking up and around for where to go. "Know where that is?" He shook is head quickly.

"No sorry mate, but I'm sure you'll get there faster on this. " He rolled his motor bike over to him. "Take it." He smiled weakly and let his hand close over the handle of it.

"Listen, it's not yer fault." Sirius nodded not really believing it. He had to be ling to him since everyone thought he would be their secret keeper. He wasn't though. Peter had been and that might have been a mistake.

"It may not be, but I know whose fault it is." Then he stopped his memory not wanting to go any farther with that one. Gently, he massaged his temple to try to calm down; Bella was still screaming something he couldn't quite understand from the next high security room. It was going to give him an awful headache. He went to grab his wand to tune out the entire prison...wait prison; his wand was taken and probably destroyed because he was here. Damn it. Now he would have to hear her this whole time. No he wouldn't put up with her anymore.

"Bella! Shut up! You're going to be here for awhile so just shut your trap for awhile!" There was silence as if she had listened and then...

"No Black! You shut it! I am in here for a great purpose and you are in here because you are simply an idiot." He was so finished with her crap. His mother had always given him this blood traitor crap when he lived there, his brother was always the better one, but look who was alive. Now Bellatrix had always annoyed him to no end and had loved every second of it. Well not anymore. Now he would handle that bitch as best he could without his wand to shut her mouth for good.

"BELLATRIX! I AM SO DONE WITH YOU! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR STUPID DARK LORD IN HERE! TAKE YOUR PUREBLOOD CRAP AND GO SNOG YOUR LEADER! DON'T BOTHER ME! I DON'T NEED YOU NOW!" With that said he sat back down and massaged his head gently. He didn't hear her reply so she must've given up as he heard his outburst. He felt tears in his eyes now, but knew it wasn't because of what was just said. James and Lily occupied his thoughts now. How could he have done this to them? He was their first choice for secret keeper, why had he made them change their minds and pick Peter? He hadn't noticed he had been strangely different the last few weeks of their lives. Why hadn't he? Oh yes he knew exactly why...

His thoughts drifted back to last Christmas, Harry's first. James and Lily had thrown a party for his first Christmas and invited her friends as well as James' this time. Sirius had gotten there early so as to try and help with the cooking. Though he wasn't much help at all. One girl was already there and her and Lily together could handle it by themselves. He didn't even get into the kitchen, but stopped at the doorway when his eyes saw black hair instead of red.

"Uh, hello?" The woman turned around. Her tan skin was covered with sweat and grease from apparently hours of cooking, but still her chocolate eyes seemed to shine slightly. She wiped her hands on her small apron tied around her waits and walked over to him.

"Hello, you must be James' friend. Lily said one of them always comes early," she looked at him, brow furrowed in thought. "Sirius?" He smiled charmingly as she recognized him. Her hand came out accompanied by a smile that made his heart race and he shook it. "Good I'm Rose." She informed him looking back into the kitchen as Lily looked in to check on the food, equally as disheveled as she was. "No we are not friends just for the 'Lily and Rose' thing." He laughed and nodded as Lily left again with a plate in her hand towards the dinning room.

"Well Rose is there any possible way I can help? I have many skills as many know." He rested his hand against the wall behind her leaning closer and gaining a roll of her eyes.

"No. Lily said none of you are to come in the kitchen." She scrunched up her apron in her hands and gently whacked him with it, hitting his in the stomach.

"Fine. Fine! I'm leaving." He backed out of the kitchen running his hand through his hair and watching her smile at him before returning to the kitchen behind her. Backing up to the couch he fell backwards to sit with his legs hanging over the arm of the couch.

"Rose! When is dinner?" Her head appeared from the kitchen to grin at him.

"You'll have to ask Lily, I'm not making dinner anymore. I was moved to desert." Sirius sat up and jumped off the couch at this.

"Oh really?" He asked smoothly moving back towards the kitchen. She stood in the doorway to block him from entering the kitchen as Lily had instructed. "Well what is it?"

"That I was also instructed to keep from you." He raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner towards her. "She said you would go off and eat it if I said what it was." At this news he tried to look behind her but saw nothing. He moved right, she followed, he moved left, and she followed. She was smiling proudly now, but Sirius would win in the end. He bent down as if to move to the right and instead charged right at her, lifting her up over his shoulder. He heard her yelp and hit his back as he moved around the kitchen looking for the food she had made.

"Where is it?" He asked finally getting her to stop hitting him and cross her arms across his back to symbolize she wasn't telling him. "Come on!" Lily entered and he saw her eyes grow wide just as she saw them both like that. James looked behind her, apparently they had been talking and she had abruptly stopped upon seeing them.

"Sirius?" Lily asked questioningly putting down the plate she had been carrying and placing her hands on her hips. Sirius looked at James who was observing her motions before glancing at him. Hands on hips, never a good sign. James grinned suddenly with an idea. Stepping forward he moved over to Sirius.

"No bad Sirius, put her down." Grinning first at this as he lightly smacked his head, he then took up the act and pouted and whimpered like a puppy in trouble. "Now!" James said more sternly. Sighing he placed her back down on her feet in front of James. "Good." He grabbed a piece of dough from the counter and threw it to him, which he caught in his mouth. He was laughing as well as Rose and James, Lily however was not, but rushing around the house with food occasionally leaving the room to go upstairs.

"How are you mate?" James smiled and rested his hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine, Lily hasn't been so great but," He leaned in closer so Rose wouldn't hear, she was now preoccupied with the sink and dishes. "Her chest has gotten bigger since Harry was born." He clapped his shoulder lightly. "I love that boy." Laughing he left the room and went back to the living room for some Christmas television. Rose had finished washing her hands and was leaning up against the sink rubbing her forehead lightly. Sirius joined her by the sink and leaned next to her.

"Sorry I'm really hungry." She smacked him in the stomach lightly grinning at him. He faked being hurt and leaned forward slightly.

"Okay well that wasn't the greatest first impression I've gotten, though it isn't the worst either." He smiled happily and moved his arm carefully around her back. She didn't move away. Good sign.

"I always make great impressions." She gave him a questioning look that made him smile down at her. Now he realized how short she was. "Well you will remember me." She nodded and laughed a little. To him her laugh was beautiful though she tried to cover it.

"That is true, and I suppose that is what impressions are meant to do." Rose responded turning back to the sink and going to grab more dishes. It was almost five when the party was meant to begin. Seeing this he turned and grabbed her hands to stop her movements.

"Go I'll finish the dishes. You need to get ready." She smiled gratefully up at him and then quickly left the kitchen throwing the apron off behind her. Sirius caught it and draped it on the table before getting out his wand. With a flick of his wrist they were clean and flew back to their places in the cabinets. Smiling that his job was done he went out and sat with James on the couch. The two talked randomly as they flipped through the random channels looking for something to watch. Sirius kept glancing to the stairs for Rose or Lily, but neither showed up.

After what seemed like hours to the two men Remus showed up with his date. Dumbledore followed cheerily coming in with a bag full of butterbeer presumably. Then Moody came with another bag he said was another of butterbeer. Followed by Frank and Alice Longbottom with their son Neville with them. Sirius and James greeted them along with the rest of the members of the order who had come. Kingsley had come as well with Nymphadora Tonks, who still an auror in training came with her parents Andromeda and Ted. After all of these people had arrived and were directed into the dining room by James, Lily came down in a very red Christmas looking dress. Modest, to James' disapproval and covering up to her ankles. He had stayed in the living room watching the stairs for her, but with no sign he moved towards the dining room. Then just as he went to enter she came down. Her gown a deep midnight blue and not at all like Lily's was.

The dress was strapless and the v-neck was like Sirius' dream come true. Her previously sweaty hair was now flowing down over her shoulders. The chocolate eyes looked warmer and more energetic now that she had had a nice shower. Most of all Sirius noticed the hem of the dress was just above her knee exposing her legs to him. When she reached the bottom of the stairs he realized his mouth was open and he had been staring. Rose seemed to be blushing though and smiling at him. "Care to escort me into the dining room?" Was this going to be counted as a date? Suddenly he felt his heart race as he nodded and her arm wove through his own. Smiling he led her in to the seat beside James. Her seat however was on the opposite side next to Lily who happened to be on James' other side as he had grabbed the head. Remus on his other side seemed not to care where he was placed, but Sirius really wanted to be next to Rose. Smiling weakly over at her he leaned in to say something, but was stopped by James tapping his glass to grab the room's attention.

"Thank you all for attending our small celebration here and Lily has worked so very hard with Rose to make this dinner for us all so I'm very sure we'll enjoy it."

"Dig in?"

"Yes, Sirius, dig in." With that the dinner began. The small first course wasn't nearly good enough for Sirius so he ate three plates of it. Remus willingly gave him his after so much annoyance of "Are you gonna eat that?" repeated multiple times. The second and main course, lasagna, was served and he began to eat without incident. Halfway through his meal he felt someone's foot rub gently against his covered leg. He stopped eating and looked up across the table. Lily was talking quickly with James and laughing with him, Nymphadora was talking to Remus, about something he didn't really concern himself with. Rose however was grinning slyly at him swaying her goblet back and forth in her hand. Grinning now too, he moved his foot over to gently rub against her leg. She made a pleasured face and leaned back in her chair. Smiling at this reaction he moved his foot up and down her calf, her body moved again and her eyes closed. James then cleared his throat loudly causing her eyes to snap open and Sirius to sit up straight in his chair. He was looking from him to Rose smirking slightly and Lily soon followed his gaze and then settled to glare at Sirius. As he watched she turned to Rose and whispered something that wiped the smile right off her face. James leaned closer to Sirius to whisper. "What are you doing, Padfoot?" He rolled his eyes and leaned in closer. This was getting so annoying lately.

"James I'm not doing anything wrong and I-"

"Good don't." With that he settled back into his chair grinning at him. When he read Sirius' confused face he mouthed, 'yet' as an addition to his sentence. Lily and Rose had stopped talking and were now both eating quietly. Though this went unnoticed as the rest of the table was in little side conversations with each other.

"Desert." Lily had whispered to Rose, but Sirius' hearing only talk about food or himself he snapped up straight and watched Rose rise from her chair and go to move into the kitchen. James looked at him and the snapped his head towards the kitchen. Immediately understanding his friend the animagus jumped up and ran to help in the kitchen. Rose was hidden behind the door of the refrigerator bending into it to lift something out. Once she had a hold on whatever it was she staggered backwards and placed it gently on the table, sighing as she did so. Curiously he approached her from behind and peered over her shoulder at the desert. It was what appeared to be a seven layered cake. Huge compared to Rose's figure.

"Did you make that?" Her head snapped up in surprise, apparently he was stealthier than he thought. Smiling as she looked back at it she nodded. "It looks great." So great he wanted to eat it right now. She moved to pick it up again and he moved to the other side lifting it up. It wasn't as heavy as he had expected, but she was supporting one side. Though how strong could she be? Together they transferred the cake from the kitchen to the center of the table to applause from the guests. Rose was blushing again and went into the kitchen to get the frosting off her hands. Like a dog and its master Sirius followed her to the sink where she ran her hands under the water again and again. He moved to lean against the sink right next to her grabbing her attention.

"Yes?"

"Oh nothing." She looked at him oddly as she dried her hands on a small dishtowel.

"Then why are you staring at me?" Sirius shrugged. Did she not know what she looked like? Was she blind or something?

"Is there a law against that?" Thankfully she laughed at this and turned around to face him. Clinking knives and forks could be heard as Lily had permitted them to eat the cake.

"No, but if you want a piece you'd better get inside before it's gone." He grinned and moved closer to her.

"Yes, but if I had the chef then I could have it all the time." She wasn't meeting his eyes. In fact she was trying not to. Seeing this he gently lifted her chin up to make her look at him. He saw a smile stay on her lips as their eyes met. Then he made their lips meet as well. Her thin arms came up to wrap around his neck pulling him closer, while his arms had already wrapped around her small waist. Eagerly his tongue begged for entrance into her mouth as the lower regions of his body began to tighten. He never got in though. For right at that moment Lily chose to enter the kitchen to look for them. A loud clearing of her throat broke them apart. Sirius grinned at her and leaned back up against the sink while Rose was blushing madly and staring at the ground.

"Most of they party has left so, we were going into the living room. Of course if you would like to stay in here while we play some games-"

"Games!" Sirius left the room to go find James who was getting out the bottles from Dumbledore's bag. Whiskey? He had brought firewhiskey. Oh this was going to be great! Rose had followed him out into the room so he led her to a seat on the couch. She sat closer than need as the couch was pretty large and watched the room being set up for something. Lily came from the kitchen with some small snacks and stopped dead, eyes wide, as she spotted the whiskey on the table.

"James?" He looked up and jumped to his feet as if something had stung him. Sirius and Remus exchanged laughing glances behind his back while Rose was watching her friend.

"Lily, I asked Albus to bring some drinks and..."

"And he brought whiskey?" She glared at James still as Dumbledore watched from the chair where he sat. "Whiskey James? You really expect me to believe that Albus Dumbledore chose to bring whiskey?" Oh, she used the full name. Sirius now stood and walked over to James' side.

"Actually, Lily pad," her hands moved from her hips to cross in front of her at this name. "I am actually the cause of the liquor. You see I feel that no party is complete with out," he paused for dramatic effect and ticked off his fingers. "One some woman. Two some whiskey, and three me." A smile appeared on her lips as she rolled her eyes and James laughed too hitting his stomach. They all took seats again and James and Dumbledore finished setting out the bottles of liquor, which Lily had now permitted, or ignored. He now took the time to look at the group. Himself of course, he was sitting next to Rose. With them so close together James and Lily could sit close together on the other side of it. Remus and his date sat in one chair chatting quietly. Ted and Andromeda sat together on another small couch, while Tonks sat at Kingsley's feet glancing at Remus every so often. Frank and Alice also sat together on two of the dining room chairs pulled in. Harry and Neville must've been up stairs somewhere, probably asleep as it was late. Moody was talking with both Kingsley and Tonks. Something about the dark wizards and auror training that he really didn't pay attention to. Dumbledore was talking with multiple people in conversation about Hogwarts and what he plans for it. Having finished his room survey he looked down as Rose had just settled against his chest. Her figure fit perfectly. She smiled up at him for approval of her motions and he wrapped his arms around her as an answer. He was so wrapped up in her he didn't notice the glance Remus and James shared before smiling and looking away.

Now that he had thought back to it Peter hadn't even been there. He had been invited. Maybe he had had some kind of trader meeting with his bitch of a cousin.

They had played a few games all going bad once the whiskey kicked in. Frank and Alice left with Moody who had become their 'designated driver' sort of. Dumbledore left shortly after followed by Andromeda and Ted who had to literally drag Tonks out of there. Kingsley had then left, feeling slightly out of place. Harry had long fallen asleep without a playmate with him. Now it was just Remus and his date, whom Sirius now remembered was named Lena. James and Lily and of course Rose and himself. Around midnight Remus had taken Lena home from the party, or at least that's what he said he did. Then it was just two couples. Small talk had continued on throughout the night and then turned more into a game as the whiskey began to effect the two girls. James had Sirius had been able to control these effects after having gotten drunk so many times, they knew how people acted on them, and it wasn't fun to wake up from it, but it was pretty funny to watch.

Both girls' were completely drunk at about 2 in the morning. This didn't bother the two left, in fact this was just perfect for both of them. Lily was now sitting on James' lap giggling at nothing in particular. Rose, however hadn't moved at all.

"James I'm bored." Lily whined like a small child to their father. James flashed him a grin and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Well let me fix that." More giggling from Lily as he kissed her thoroughly. Rose was now looking up at him instead of at them, she was smiling at nothing. He grinned down at her and watched her blush and giggle.

"How about we go home?" Sirius suggested loudly for James to hear. James' head came up from Lily's chest to look at him and nod furiously. They leaned together, whispering.

"Lily only gets this drunk a few times, I need to take advantage." Sirius nodded and lifted Rose from the couch and moved towards the door, grabbing a coat for her.

"Good night all." James waved as Lily waved them out as she kissed him again. He laughed and Rose was still giggling in his arms as he shut the door. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she was playing with his hair as he walked out of the charm and disapparated. He appeared again in front of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. What he had claimed as his home. He opened the door quietly and went straight to his old bedroom still with Rose who was now looking curiously around the hall. He again opened the door very quietly and closed it the same way so as not to wake his mother's portrait. Rose struggled in his arms and he set her down. With wide eyes she wandered around his room looking at all the pictures and banners he had hung there. She stopped at the picture of the four of them together at school. This made her smile and she jumped up to kneel on the bed to look more closely at it. He stood at the foot of his bed watching her look from him to the picture and then back to him.

"You haven't changed much." He laughed and sat down on his bed.

"Just got taller." Rose giggled and then slumped back in the bed falling asleep. Despite what Sirius wanted to do, he backed off and grabbed a chair to sit next to the bedside. She was smiling as she fell asleep in front of him. Her form was printed into his mind for him to remember.

Now in his lonely Azkaban cell that one image kept him warm. Maybe Rose didn't hate. Hopefully she believed that he wasn't a murderer, but no one so far had lived up to his expectations of them. They believed the Ministry. The Daily Prophets lies had gotten to his friend, and James was gone and he was...alone.

A door opened somewhere down the corridor. Footsteps could be heard coming his way. Were they finally going to give him his trial? The minister came around the corner. Sirius felt his lip snarl slightly at the sight of him standing smugly outside his cell with his stupid little bowler cap he would've liked to knock right off his head. Two dementors accompanied him sucking his last happy thought of Rose out of him with just their presence. "Sirius Black?" He said it in a questioning manner, so he stood and walked straight up to the bars glaring.

"Who else do you expect here?" He could feel the people in the other high security cells around him watching and sniggering, as the Minister looked momentarily stunned by his retort.

"You have been sentenced to a life time in Azkaban." He said loudly for the rest of the cells to hear. He grabbed the bars in a death grip and glared at him fiercely.

"WHAT?" He was bellowing now. He couldn't help it. This was so wrong. "I have the right to a trial." He said a bit more calmly. The minister smirked horribly at him.

"After what you have done, you deserve nothing." He held out his hand to one of the dark creatures at his side and was handed Sirius' wand. Fudge, the portly minister grabbed it and snapped the dark object like it was a twig. Sirius' eyes grew wide and he reached threw the bars for the man.

"You son of a bitch." The dementors moved forward and tried to stop him from reaching him, but he wasn't going to anyway. Fudge had stepped back and away from the cell smiling. "You won't be minister for your whole term." He saw the smile disappear at his prediction. "You'll be run out. You're not a minister you're a coward. We need a leader who isn't afraid to be wrong. Who isn't scared to check the facts. Who knows that no person is perfect and flawless, not even leaders. We need a leader who isn't afraid to reveal the truth. " The minister was now looking scared and furious at him. The cells had gone quiet listening to him yell at the minister. "We need someone who knows what we are fighting. We need," he drew a deep breath before bellowing to the echoing corridors, "ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!" The minister froze and everyone in the cells around him began moving again, obviously feeling that he wasn't what they needed. Gritting his teeth Fudge stepped forward.

"He will not be minister." Sirius leaned in closer to the minister as if about to kiss him.

"Neither will you." Fudge punched him across the face. It hurt mildly for seconds before he straightened up and let out a very uncharacteristic cackle much resembling Bellatrix. "You hit like a girl." With that last insult thrown in Fudge left leaving the remnants of Sirius' wand behind him on the floor. Within a few minutes of struggling to fit his whole arm through the bars he grabbed it and pulled himself back into the cell and sat back on the small 'bed'. He stared at them remembering all the wonderful things he and his friends had been able to achieve because of it. With this very wand he had flipped Snivellous over and washed out his mouth with soap after he had called Lily a mudblood. He had charmed Mrs. Norris to fly to the ceiling of the entrance hall out of reach. He had levitated the Slytherin's food at mealtime and then dumped it all over them when they had all taken a seat. He had magicked a few erasers to fly around the school as birds and clap at random students. He had charmed a few random suits of armor to sing vulgar songs whenever a Slytherin passed by. This wand had been with him for his whole life. And just in a few seconds it was gone. He had no more power.

He hung his head and dropped the wand shards to the floor, closing his dark gray eyes. When he opened his eyes again his wand seemed to be levitating in front of him, but looking closer a clear hand was offering it to him. He looked up into Lily's face as she smiled sweetly down at him. "Lily?" She nodded gently and he accepted the wand from her. James then appeared at her shoulders with his arm around her. They looked happy? But why? They had just been murdered yet here they were right in front of him. "James?" He nodded and smiled widely at his friend. Sirius stood up and approached his two late friends. "I'm so sorry." He choked falling to his knees. Immediately James and Lily were on either side comforting him.

"We don't blame you at all." Lily told him gripping his hand in her clear, cold one. James' arm was around his shoulder in a comforting half-embrace. "It isn't your fault at all. You can't blame yourself."

"We should never have trusted him." James was talking and he turned his head to look at him. "Remus has always been good to us, we shouldn't have suspected him."

"Is there any hope?" He asked both of them. They exchanged glances and both turned to look at him.

"There is always hope." Lily spoke sweetly as James gripped her hand. "You can't lose it." He smiled and then turned to look at James.

"How did Harry survive?" He needed to know. It was the question now swirling around his mind. James smiled sweeter and glanced at his wife.

"Lily." When he looked at Lily James continued. "She had a choice to live and instead she chose to die instead of Harry." Sirius met her eyes and the James' tears now beginning to form in the gray depths.

"Hopefully I'll be able to be somewhat like you before I die." Lily and James both grabbed one of his hands.

"You will be." James told him standing up. He followed and Lily stood last meeting his eyes.

"Never lose hope and remember," they both let his hands go and backed away slightly joining hands. "We're always there. Right beside you."

"No don't leave me here." He pleaded approaching their fading forms. "Please."

"We'll be watching." James' voice sounded as he faded into nothingness. Lily still remained behind and looked at him.

"We're safe now. And we will watch you, Remus, and Harry grow from above. We're waiting for you." The tears that threatened to fall now disappeared as he moved closer to try to bring her back, but they were gone. Both of them had faded into nothing at all.

He was on his knees again holding the remains of his wand and looking at the spot where his best friend had just appeared. "James...Lily...come back." He whispered to the room. Nothing responded. He was alone again.

Then voices could be heard. One was obviously the minister's and one was a woman's voice. Pleading and frantic. He thought he knew it. Glancing once more at the spot where Lily and James had been he walked over to the bars to hear it better.

"Please sir. You have to let me in. Just for a few seconds. I-"

"I am sorry miss, but visitors are not permitted in the high security area." She wanted to see someone where he was. Maybe it was him.

"Please minister I need to see him." A few seconds passed and then she spoke again. "You can accompany me. And whatever you like can come as well, but I need to see him." The minister must have agreed because the door then opened. Frantic footsteps entered but were held back. Then the footsteps halted entirely replaced by softer and slower ones. "Let go." He heard the woman say as they drew closer. He stepped back as he felt it growing colder by the second. Then they appeared around the corner. Two dementors held the woman up by her forearms stopping her from running in. Fudge was ahead of them. He walked closer and stopped just in front of his cell. He stepped forward to see the woman closer. Her black hair was falling into her face, but he could see the shining chocolate eyes behind them staring at him.

"Rose..." The minister nodded to the dark creatures and they quickly opened the cell door and threw her into it.

"We will not leave, Miss." Rose nodded as if she didn't care. Sirius was at her side in a second. Her hand came up to gently caress the side of his face.

"Sirius...I'm so sorry." He shook his head and pulled her close off the floor. She curled up in his lap and rested against him.

"It's not your fault. It isn't mine. It's not anyone's fault this happened." He explained to her as she met his gaze. "It is only one person's fault and I'll make sure he gets what he deserves." Rose, having been Lily's best friend was probably told who the secret keeper was, just has he had been told. However she would not be believed because of her known association with Sirius Black. He didn't care, as long as he had one believer in the world he wouldn't lose hope. Rose held onto him like she would never let him go and for those few minutes they didn't have to speak at all. Words were unnecessary for those blissful minutes. Then Fudge cleared his throat loudly and Rose turned around to face him knowing time was running out.

"Sirius, I came here because I have to tell you something." Her hands gripped his and he felt something drop from hers into his open palm. "I love you." He was pulled into a tight embrace as she pressed herself against him. Her breathing was in his ear and he heard her whisper, "When you get out find me. Find me." She pulled back to leave but he caught her. With one smooth, quick motion he pulled her back and covered her lips with his own. Her tension melted away and she responded eagerly as her arms assumed their position around his neck and his wrapped quickly around her waist pulling her closer. This time it was her who begged for entrance to his mouth and got it. Her soft tongue roamed gently around his mouth in circles as his moved around her mouth exploring every inch of it. Her hands were tangled in his shaggy black mane and his hands had moved down to grip her backside and pull her closer. Fudge cleared his throat louder, but the couple didn't pull away. Rose pushed him down and lay on top of him kissing him fiercely. The cell door opened and four clammy, cold hands closed over Rose's forearms. Her eyes grew wide and Sirius' grip tightened, but they were stronger She was pulled away from him and out of his cell. Sirius moved to the bars of his cell and watched Fudge walk out ahead of them. Rose kicked against them trying to get back, but gave up, as she became tired from their grip. "Rose!" He had to tell her. If he would never see her again this was his last chance. "I love you!" Her eyes became softer and tears were clearly visible on her face as she was taken from the prison. Sirius moved to the window and watched them bring her to the edge of the island where it was safe to disapparate. She looked back once and he found her eyes. Then he watched her disappear from his sight for an unknown number of years.

Would he ever see her again? Would he ever see daylight again? What about harry? He might never see him grow up. Grow into what James was and have a family and friends. Have what he may never have again or at all. His hand gripped the bar on the window as he still watched the spot where Rose had just disappeared. She loved him and he loved her. This was different than everything other so called 'relationship' he had ever had. Never again would he try to pick up a girl, he had one. He would no longer be an arrogant ladies man as he was. He would only belong to Rose for the rest of his life, no matter how long that actually was. If James and Lily were right, he was being watched and looked after. He knew they were right though. He would get out. He would survive this. There was always hope. Lily and James had hope until the day they died. They still had hope. Harry held hope. And Rose...Rose held hope in him. Tears began to fall as he stared out the window with his thoughts for company. For the first time in a long while Sirius Black let his tears fall and let himself cry for all he had suffered.


End file.
